Dmitry described how men who survived some of the most gruesome battles "lost their minds", while others were "eaten away by fear".

Footage filmed by Russians on the frontline is extremely rare to see – particularly online. In part, it's due to censorship laws in Russia, which carry heavy punishments for those who "discredit" the army or publicly oppose the war. These have only intensified since the war in Ukraine began. 

For Dmitry, it's the smell of war that haunts him.

"It's a nauseating, sugary smell sometimes mixed with burning flesh, it's hard to compare to anything but impossible to forget... All the forests were full of dead bodies - it's impossible to count how many were full of rats eating corpses," he said.

After receiving his summons at work, Igor was also sent to the frontline in Ukraine. He was against Russia's invasion of Ukraine and didn't want to fight. At first, he was put in a logistics role, which kept him away from direct combat, but it wasn't long before he was shifted to the frontline.

"It was mentally hard. I shuddered as the explosions were so loud," he says, his hands shaking at the memory.

"I can't tell you how much I tried to avoid going to the frontline. I was horrified that Russia attacked Ukraine."

Grigory Sverdlin ran a homelessness charity in St Petersburg before the war began.

But after Russia's invasion of Ukraine, Grigory's friends warned him that it wasn't safe for him to stay in Russia due to his public anti-war position - authorities also began pursuing those who protested against the invasion.

Grigory drove for thousands of kilometres through Europe before reaching Georgia, where he would later set up Idite Lesom.

The core members of the group and anti-war Russians operated in exile at first from their base in Tbilisi and later Barcelona, meeting weekly to discuss each of their roles from route planning to charity fundraising.

But as the relationship between Georgian and Russian authorities grew closer, by autumn 2024, Idite Lesom felt it was unsafe to continue its operations in Tbilisi.

While in Georgia, Grigory discovered he had been listed as a "foreign agent" by the Russian government - an added pressure to his personal security and proof that he could be a target.

Grigory along with other core members moved to Barcelona, where the group is now based.

Idite Lesom says it has supported over 48,000 people since the war started. Beyond helping them evade capture, it offers other services including psychological support and, in some cases, financial aid.

Operating almost entirely online, the group's Telegram Bot, which provides automatic responses based on questions clients send to the group, is the first point of call for deserters or those seeking the group's help.

Ivan Chuvilyaev takes dozens of calls a week from soldiers ranging from young men who have just been mobilised to officers with years of experience.

As one of Idite Lesom's core members, he verifies soldiers' identities. Ivan also left Russia due to his anti-war views, and he now operates in Barcelona.

His role is crucial to the group as he explains that it does not want to help "criminals". For this step, he carries out his own verification process, asking soldiers a specific set of questions about their recruitment and experiences on the frontline.

Once satisfied with his checks, he passes each case over to his colleagues, Darya Berg and Anton Gorbatsevich, who coordinate the evacuation and plan routes.

Sensitive conversations are moved to more encrypted forms of messaging – as the pair establish details about the deserter's current situation, their needs and where they want to go. While encrypted apps offer added security, every stage of this journey poses a risk.

Desperation has, at times, led some Russian soldiers to take extreme action.

Darya recalls multiple messages from soldiers asking for advice on how to shoot areas of their bodies so they can be taken to hospital. It's here where soldiers are more likely to have a phone signal - which is crucial for their escape.

Idite Lesom says it doesn't encourage self-shooting but after receiving dozens of messages asking for guidance, it has created an internal guide based on tips shared by successful attempts.

Below is an excerpt of that document - the guide offers instructions on how to carry out the act without suspicion.

Less than four months after Nikolai and Ana escaped, the pair moved again beyond Europe. Ana now volunteers with Idite Lesom remotely, using her experience to help others.

During our interview with Dmitry, he said he planned to rebuild and settle back into civilian life in the country where he was living. He struggled with the psychological trauma and said he took tranquilisers to deal with flashbacks from the frontline.

But weeks after filming, Dmitry told us he had changed his plans and was leaving. He had accepted a job at a "mining firm in central Africa", returning to a life full of potential danger. According to Idite Lesom, this path is highly uncommon among deserters, and many live quietly in the shadows of exile.

In a war that's raged for over three years, peace feels like a distant prospect to many of the soldiers we spoke to.

One day, the fighting will eventually stop, but what follows for this generation of men who survive, who return home or escape, is one of their greatest concerns.

None of the soldiers we have spoken to have been granted asylum. While their escape saved them from the frontline, it marked the start of another journey but one with an unclear end - to survive in the shadows.

Idite Lesom says it will continue its work until the war is over.

Watch the Paste BN documentary Escaping Putin at 9pm on Friday 4 July.

*Deserters' names have been changed to protect their identities.